Showing posts with label Worries. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Worries. Show all posts

Worries & Fear Box



 Collect Your Worries & Fear in a Box


On at a pleasant cool night, everyone in the apartment block had gone to bed after a nice dinner, and there was silence. Early in the morning, the police came with a search operation at the Apartment. Their announcement about this was followed by gunshot.


Hearing all this, a person sleeping in the building next door got up shivering. His wife tried to calm him down. Finally, the police arrested the man in search of whom they had come and went on their way, but the man the neighbouring building was still scared. Finally, he decided to confess his fear and asked me, “Why am I feeling so fearful and scared..?”

I explained to him in a comforting tone that fear is the absence of love. One has to bring light of love to the darkness of fear. You can’t do anything with darkness directly. You can’t destroy it by action of will or throw it away. You have to bring the light of love.”
“But my wife is a loving person.” he said.
“Your wife may be a loving person, but are you receiving and validating that love in your heart? The flowers are beautiful, but the question is whether you are receiving and validating it or you lost in your worries,” I asked.

You are no longer sensitive; you are highly sentimental, reacting to what is, from the framework of your likes and dislikes. Being sensitive is being available to experience “what is” as what is. Most of the people are not living and thinking deeply.

“Do you mean to say, one should accept life as it comes and not change it,” asked the man. I said, More than accepting, see things as they are. Be free to see what is, and in that freedom one is not bound. When you see it, then you see the elegance in imperfection and from that space you will do or act on what is needed. This will not be out of conflict but out of harmony.”

I said to him, “Whenever you worry or have fear, write down and put it into an imaginary box and stop worrying. Every weekend day, on Saturday open the imaginary box, scan through the written worries and see how you can solve them. But in between don’t worry except to write down any new fear and put it in the imaginary box.”

The following week he came to me and said, “ It certainly works. Most of my worries and fears have been solved, but still there are about 25% existing. What shall I do..?”

I said, “Put them also into an imaginary box that you will open only on the last Saturday of the month; till then do not worry about it. Open that box once a month on the last Saturday and scan through the worries. You will find that most of them will be solved if one stops worrying.”

Apply the technique of one to 20. Write out 20 ways to solve your problem. Then, apply those ways. If you are calm,  most of the problems will be solved, and if you are creative, any remaining problems also will be solved. Any problem remaining unresolved even after all these, will make your life humble and challenging.
Discourse : Swami Sukhabodhananda

Source : Speaking tree
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This title may kindle your curiosity, and some of you may wonder how there can be just a single solution to the various, and often intolerable, problems in the world.

I do not have a magic wand
Let me warn you. I do not possess any magic potion or instant cure. I can only give you something to work on, the seeds of a solution.
Once, a hungry person went to a shop to buy apples. Instead of apples, he was given seeds to plant, that would grow into trees yielding apples in abundance. Similarly, I can give you seeds of thought that remove all your problems – only if you work on them.

The Nature of Problems
Let us first focus on problems. If we analyse and observe, we will find that actually situations in life are what become problems. If you are comfortably sitting in your own house and begin to feel hungry, the hunger does not pose a problem. There is food in the kitchen; if not, you just go to a restaurant. But if you are in a remote place and food is not available, or you do not have enough money to buy food, then hunger becomes a problem, because you don't know how to deal with it.


Life :
The period of existence, duration, usefulness, or popularity of something. A specific phase of earthly existence. The period from birth to death. Spiritual existence transcending physical death. The sequence of physical and mental experiences that make up the existence of an individual. The quality that distinguishes a vital and functional being from a dead body. The sum of the distinguishing phenomena of organisms, especially metabolism, growth, reproduction, and adaptation to environment.

Inability to deal with Situations
Whenever there is an inability to handle the situation, then that situation becomes a problem.
Firstly, if you don't understand the situation, it becomes a problem. Secondly, you may understand it, but find no remedy, it becomes a problem. Thirdly, if the remedy is there, but it isn't within reach, then also it becomes a problem. Finally, everything may be within reach, but if you don't know how to make use of it, then, of course, it remains a problem.
Human beings have a peculiar ability – whatever we touch becomes a problem. It is like the Midas touch – whatever he touched turned into gold, whether it was his clothes, his food or even his own daughter. Even the fulfillment of his wish became a problem!

Categorising the Problem
So what should we do? The very first thing is to look at the given situation objectively and assess why it is a problem. At this stage itself we may find that the situation is simply a situation and not a problem at all. However, if it still continues to appear as a problem, proceed to categorise it. It could be any of the following kinds:
• A factual problem like a financial crisis, a disease of the body, or even a leaking roof.
• An imaginary problem like the fear of a car crash, a bleak view of one's career, or visualising a serious illness from the symptoms of a common cold.
• A subjective thinking problem based on strong likes and dislikes, prejudices, attachments and so on.


Fear
An unpleasant/negative emotion caused by the Beliefs that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. Behavioural reaction to physical and emotional danger. Triggered by a stressful stimulus it leads to physical reactions as tense muscles, rapid heartbeat and rushed breathing.

Identifying the Solution
The next step is to find the solution. If it is a factual problem, you can do the following:
a. Sit quietly with a paper and pen.
b. Write down the situation that is posing the problem.
c. Jot down all possible solutions for it.
d. Shortlist the most practical solutions.
e. Further shortlist and pick the solution that is within your capability to implement.
f. Allow it to happen – implement it.
For example, if you want to go from Hyderabad to Mumbai, list out the alternative ways of travel - by air, foot, road or rail. Strike out the impractical ones such as travelling by foot. If air travel does not fit your budget, strike it out. Now your alternatives are down to road and rail, and you can choose based on availability, personal comfort and timing.
Once you have found a solution, relax and allow it to happen. There are some people who worry even after they are seated in the plane: "I hope the pilot is well trained. I hope there are no hijackers. The weather seems bad. What if there is a storm?" There is no point in worrying about things over which we have no control. Dispel these worries and relax.


Hope
A positive feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen in accordance with what you imagine it to be. It is a Beliefs that what happens will happen for good.

Right Thinking - the One True Solution
If it is an imaginary problem, right thinking will reveal that it is not a problem at all. It simply dissolves into thin air! The fear of a car crash or ill health is only in our minds. I alone can remove the problem from my mind with the help of right thinking


Mind
A non-physical phenomenon which perceives, thinks, recognises, experiences and reacts to the environment. A relational and embodied process that regulates the flow of energy and information in our bodies. Described as having two main aspects: clarity and knowing; meaning that the mind is clear, formless and allows for objects to arise in it, and that the mind is knowing, an awareness, a consciousness which can engage with objects. It is a private sphere to which no one but the owner has access. They can only interpret what we
 
Vedanta says that all problems arise from lack of right thinking alone. It remains the root cause of all our bondage, sorrow and problems. It is said: 'avichara krto bandhah vicharena nivartate – bondage caused by lack of thinking, is removed by proper thinking.' Hence, right thinking is the one solution for all our problems. 

Source : Swami Tejomayananda 
http://www.speakingtree.in




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